I'm backkk!! Well, for now at least.

my goodness, its been soo long since I last typed on a keyboard.

...

Well, work doesn't count.

I disappeared quite long didn't I? Currently, I'm typing on MY laptop which has been long neglected, not being dramatic here, but I neglected this laptop for almost a year. It's to the point that my mum nags at me telling me she knew this cheap laptop was going to be one of my regretted purchases and blabbers about how I'm soo stubborn and just never listens to her advice blah blah.

This laptop is a cute mini laptop that is budget friendly and pink in color. Tell me, how do I not buy when 3 of my favorite qualities in a new purchase reside in this?

Anyways....lets see what you have missed in my life and where you were ignored shall we?

So currently I already switched jobs. The last time I worked at Uniqlo, remember? This time I had been working at Owndays which is a well known and international Japanese optical store apparently. This brand is very ambitious and competitive just so you know. If you are not completely sold that it is, then go check out our new warranty policy; its ridiculous, fantasy-driven and risky indeed. Like the company might go bankrupt for this. But they just want to push to be number one no matter what.

So I've been working here for 5 months insyaAllah by the end on this month February.

What else you missed at my work? The drama, the cashier mistakes time and again, unexpectedly plotted against to be matchmaked lol, me getting hit on twice, the back and forth. My personality is well established now. I'm the shortest hijabi awkward and "hardworking" complaining lazy ADHD girl who can't tolerate being bored and constantly fill up her work time with extra unnecessary work just to kill time. I'm sick of being called a "kanchiong" person. But  hey, maybe I am. And I don't ever try to act cute, maybe its just because Im super short hence why my movement make it seem more adorable than it is. I don't know. And its weird, sometimes I'm complimented for being pretty but I myself don't see it or don't feel it and occasionally curious what they see in me?

There is too much catching up to do, its sad all the stories that you have missed but lets brush it aside for now.

What happened today?
Today is my off day from work. I woke up super late, after which me and my mum went to a nearby mall and I bought a couple staffs including a coffee maker for my dad alhamdulillah at Giant and a microsoft word. Damn, I need to find a hobby asap so Im not always tempted to keep on spending. The night before I randomly had the urged to tidy my room, charged this laptop and my similarly long neglected tablet which contained my school memories and early work memories.

So why blog? Why now? Why the disappearance?
So blogging might work for some peopl if it happens to be their copping mechanism in regards to life. Because life is about learning and expressing. Observing and exploring. Input and output. Blogging used to be my output for the loud noises in my head to calm it down. But somehow, due to the hectic schedule and the inconvenience it has become, blogging had become difficult and more of a luxury. So somehow, my copping mechanism and output to life was switched to music and secretly karakoke-ing and dancing in my locked room at the end of an exhausting workday. Sometimes even in the first floor at my living room at midnight when everyone else is asleep. By karaoke, I truly mean lip syncing and making weird facial expressions and dancing like a diva. I do so to forget reality andmy problems for the moment lol.

But, I've been reflecting a bit and I missed my blogging days. I miss rereading on my life random events and there could be some exciting details or life lessons in between those series of events that I might have missed. Me being the nosy person that I am had one day googled to read about other people's morning routine because obviously my life lacked structure. There was one person who mentioned how she would take some time in her morning to blog and declutter her brain as she planned her day ahead and at night she'll update on it to see and write how the day really turned out vs her expectations in the morning. I thought that was interesting.

I need routine. I need more structure and balance in my life. I need more self growth, self reflection and self love. I thought maybe blogging at night will be a wiser way to end he day after a tiring work day to declutter and story tell to my future nosy self who wants to reminiscence of my past. It might be a great way, because compared to songs, it will help me transition into sleeping mode soon after I exhaust myself of typing as my mind relaxes. Music to me is like coffee to others. It gets me hyper, energetic and awake which is not wise to end the night with.

Anyways, from this point onwards we can just wait and see.
p.s: I'm notorious for not keeping true to my words and for disappearing. Please be more understanding :P