Sunday, February 12, 2017

Bismillah,

I swear I am tired and I wanted to sleep. Even my insomnia is finally given in. I mean its 3:22am in the morning! But before I decided to call it a day I read another chapter from the book Yasmin Mogahed "reclaim your heart". It is a good book.

Initially I was skeptic. Most motvatinal books just sound too disney channel for me, like unicorns rainbows and daisies. They normally tell us the obvious things to not end up a loser in life: work hard, never give up, blah blah common logic.

This book does have a way with words and with creating imagery in your head to grasp concepts better. I am still in the early chapters of this books. I should have highlighted a certain good phrases that I can later turn into quotes but alas, I didnt.

But what I could recall from the book from my lack of memory is:
1) this world is like the sea. Its a means to get to your destination but should not be your destination. Once you get too attached to this world, its as if you are sailing in a boat and you let the water ino your boat and eventually drown you. My descriptions here is obviously less than perfect but you get the gists of it.

2) (the most recent of what I read)

If you seek Him, God can raise you up, and replace the darkness of the ocean with the light of His sun. He can transform what was once your greatest weakness into your greatest strength, and a means of growth, purification and redemption. Know that transformation sometimes begins with a fall. So never curse the fall. The ground is where humility lives. Take it. Learn it. Breathe it. And then come back stronger, humbler and more aware of  your need for Him....

"Transformation begins with a fall". That rings so true to me in regards to my pass work experience at Uniqlo. The first few months I was there was pure torture. The amount of time I was scolded, criticized, pushed to my breaking was what eventually transform me and polished me into a better staff compared to those who worked there in a smooth sailing. We were once in a "meeting" and was asked regarding a task. I was able to answer and perform better than another staff who worked longer than me, which made me finally saw the purpose of those tough times. Obviously for that person, he was more relaxed, chill and late back while I had more deep lines in my forhead from the stress of constant self depreciation. Lol, not really. Those signs of aging havent crept up on me yet, Im just trying to sound eloquent and poetic lol. But I was more rigid and calculative. 

Though working at that store was a pain up my ass, Im glad I stick through it for a year because it tough me invaluable lessons about work.
1. I am stronger than I think I am capable of
2. When the going gets tough, close your eyes, breathe in very deeply. Open your eyes, and tune yourself out of the situation until you calm yourself down. And tell yourself, No matter how hellish this is, no matter how I feel like Im being ripped apart to pieces, and everything is falling down on me, its just a passing emotion and just a passing condition which will be over sooner than I think. It is not as bad and as dramatic an outcome as in my head, and when I think whats the worst that could happen is just merely me getting fired which is not that big of a deal if you hate that job anyways and thank god dont have responsibilities up your shoulders like your parents do in raising a family. This is merely an opportunity for me to explore and learn and even fail and make mistakes. When I thought of how the worst that could happen is simply getting fired, I became more relaxed and fearless of the scoldings, the painful critics and the constant demeaning nature of the job. I can actually look them in the eye daring them to fire me in my head like "so what? I dare you". They wont fire me easily, because they need me more than they would love to admit.

3. I learn how to stick up to myself and how selfishness has a place and a time where its much needed. You should be always open to learning new things and expand/polish your skills at work. But you must also be careful and aware that some people would exploit you especially if you constantly and naively nod your head away to everything they tell you. Your best interest is never in anyone else's head, especially in corporate businesses. YOU should be your own boss. YOU should know and plan your best interests. YOU should prioritize you well being, health, happiness, future, family and your greater good. NO one else will, believe me.

4. I relaised how those hard times really polished me and transform me because at those times my brain was on high alert, working to its maximum capacity, pushing myself to the limit in hopes to avoid getting scolded. I keep pushing my brain to think and to think. TO improvise, to constantly see how to cut down time and fasten my movements and productivity at work. And I can finally end the work day with relief and pride, head held high, because I finally did the job well and accomplish my task. It can be quite fullfilling and rewarding.

5. I learnt to never do a job well on the basis of pleasing the boss, or the customers or anyone. I learnt to do it well, simply because I want to, for myself fulfillment, and for my personal gauge as to what my limit could me and to constantly push it as far as I can. Trust me, it is common to do a job really well and have no one at work catching up or noticing your glorious moments and having them coincidentally and conveniently only noticing you at the worst of time. If you want to do a job well simply on the basis of pleasing people and impressing them or earning their respect and attention, you gonna leave yourself with multiple heartaches and mental problems lol. You gonna be constantly disappointed and let down, used and under-appreciated.

6. The greatest revenge you can give to your boss or supervisor, is not to quit so easily and so early. It is to get better and soo good at your job and let them be so reliant and impressed by your reliability. Let them use you for the time being. In fact, tolerate the negligence for the time being. Once you get great, then you quit. This way, even though they might not notice or appreciate your presence, they will severely feel your absence and suffer more lol. All the time they think they successfully used you and bend you to their qualms when in all actuality you are secretly using them and the platform to polish yourself more and more while at the same time not be attached to them so then when the time comes for you to leave they cant manipulate or guilt you into staying.


In any case guys, I am not perfect. I have a lot of issues. Damn, I wish I could fix them. I am a working progress, believe me. I have faults which I remain hidden. I also have minor qualms with my religion or rather questions, which I wish God will eventually give me the answer and wisdom to.

wow.
I really need to sleep now guys.
haha, bye.
Sorry for the abrupt ending. Till next time!  


  

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